2006-10-31 - 11:17 p.m.
Tomorrow I go to celebrate the life of someone I never liked while living. He could be a pretty good guy. Most of the time, though, he chose not to.
He'd find women who look for jerks to change to princes, and he'd give them whatever hope they get from finding a loser with potential while he took whatever pleasure from them they had to offer. He'd let you smoke his pot and steal money from your wallet if he thought you wouldn't catch him. His every deceit was... well obviously deceitful, but also somehow open to the world. Only the willing were fooled. On one of the few occasions he and I were together in a room for any considerable length of time our mutual friend, knowing I'm fairly aggressive and somewhat violent by nature, suggested we take him out to the desert and kill him. He was all for it, saying he wanted to die but he knew he'd never have the balls to do it himself.
He was proud to say that he was the perfect "Don't let this happen to you" example, and he capped off his demonstration of antiheroism by hanging himself in his backyard, where his brother found him and tried to save him. And as much as I disliked... no, hated. As much as I hated the guy in life, I can't help but find a screwed sort of respect for him for at least following through on the one life altering desire I'd ever heard him express.
