2006-08-12 - 12:02 a.m.
Two minutes ago I chewed three benadryl to knock my ass out, and it was so bitter and disgusting that my nipples got hard.
Has anybody else experienced this? I am still confused. What the fuck do nipples have to do with it?
Incidentally, I have huge man nipples. I am pretty sure every woman who has ever seen me naked has pointed this fact out. There are worse things that could be said when a man is naked, though, and frankly once I've gotten a woman to the point where she's willing to have me naked and near her most of the blood has fled whatever self conscious bones I have in my body to nourish other parts.
I miss writing.
I miss living alone, something I've only done for one month in my life. Since then it's been roommates, and roommates, and girlfriend, then back to mooching off mom.
I miss drinking, and smoking pot, but almost always at the wrong times. I will still be waiting until new years eve.
I miss being satisfied by my work, the feeling at the end of the day not only that I've done something worthwhile, but that I did it well, I did enough. There is no enough where I am now. I could get certified and fly around the building feeding and bathing and changing and shaving and dressing and there'd still be someone who was wet longer than they needed to be, or someone hungry when they shouldn't have been, or someone just fucking lonely.
I miss the girl. I miss seeing her walking down the hall or into a room, I miss catching her eyes at an unexpected moment, I miss her slightest touch. I miss talking to her at the start of, during, at the end of a long day. I miss the feeling of being completely open to her, willing to share just about anything at the slightest expression of interest. I miss the smile in her voice and the depth of her eyes.
